It was a hot and humid Saturday morning at the beach. To my right, black flags with skulls and crossbones flashed from their masts in the hot wind. To my left, palm trees sticking out of the sand, in front of a distillery where they make rum and more. In a few hours I will be surrounded by a crowd of party-goers who have come here to drink a lot of rum.
Situated on the long sandy beaches of Ocean City, Seacrets is a huge Jamaican-style entertainment complex with 19 bars, a nightclub, a winery and five concert venues.
But most importantly, Seacrets is a place to meet day and night. It is known for its tables and chairs half-submerged in the bay, where swimsuit-clad waiters (also known as the Seacrets Bay Girls) serve tropical drinks. This is a pool party in Las Vegas where you can experience Pirates of the Caribbean for a small fee.
In case you missed it, traveling this summer is expensive. Holidays in the tropics are unthinkable for most people. Will a day here really feel like a holiday in Jamaica? There is only one way to find out.
A few days ago I bought a large mesh tank top for this trip. Now I’m just a girl standing in front of a motel bathroom mirror asking her why she bought that mesh vest.
After the first lap, I sat down at the bar with the best view of Secrets Bay. People have already started sipping brightly colored iced drinks from cups adorned with Jamaican and American flags. I spotted a man in a captain’s cap and at least three prospective brides – their white suits, belts and/or veils are proof of that. The man wears a crown of inflated male genitalia.
The menu is full of items related to where we are actually and where we are theoretically. Some are distinctly Jamaican (with red stripes) and some are distinctly American (with Twisted Tea).
I took my first sip of heaven at 10:36 when I was on “Caribbean” “holidays”.
The tour ends with the flight of three spirits of our choice. In other words, people copy footage. I drank the coconut rum and took a sip of my spiced rum and passion fruit vodka.
Now it’s the turn to enter the Seacrets. If you really want to visit it properly, you can skip the lines and overlaps by taking a boat here.
“My boss picked me up from Montego Bay on his boat,” Carly Cook, a local resident and Seaacrets VIP Gold member, told me later today.
Several men in T-shirts lined one side of the line, having just been denied entry for violating the long Seacrets dress code. Hoodies are not allowed except when Seaacrets is hosting a football event.
My sunscreen is allowed, but I feel out of my element. I unbuttoned one of my shirts and lost my hat to live a little.
Meanwhile, the group of friends in front of me perfectly captures the Caribbean aesthetic in an apron. This is no coincidence. They told me that they had been planning their trip and their outfits for several months.
The crowd has grown exponentially since I left. Different bars play different music for different tastes. I heard reggae, the band was playing “I Want You to Want Me” on the main stage, and 80s dance-pop was playing in the bay.
A storm is also brewing. Our once bright skies have turned gray, and I don’t know if we’re in for a tropical downpour or a light drizzle. Don’t go in the water now or never.
“Unfortunately, the water in North America is not as clear as in the Caribbean,” Nikolai Novotsky told me. Despite this, he said that he was having fun here at his future son-in-law’s bachelor party. It’s a great place to make connections, “it’s like a little resort,” he said.
I kicked my sandals at the spears of the ship’s cannons, dangled in murky waters, and entered the sea of dancing, drinking, and languishing corpses that filled tables, chairs, and floating rafts.
“The mood was perfect. We just had a good time,” said Vince Serreta, showing me the clams he had picked up from the water.
“Two souls tonight,” Owen Breninger told me. Here he is with his fantasy football buddies. It’s their tradition to meet every summer at the Seacrets. Two of them even worked here as teenagers.
“We had a lot of fun. I can tell you that you’ve seen a lot,” Breininger’s friend Sean Strickland said of his time at Seacrets. Strickland, who has been to Jamaica, said Seacrets did a great job of capturing at least some of the essence of the island.
Post time: Sep-08-2022